Twenty Statements of Truth

I recently decided to pursue stand-up comedy, which includes taking a class (complete with homework). The task for this week is to write twenty provocative, specific true statements about my life, so here goes: I leave my car unlocked because it is cheaper than continuing to replace the windows as people in the safe, safe …

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I went to Auburn University, the greatest school in the country. It is, indeed, a cult. We have a strong rivalry with Alabama, and Georgia, and basically every other school in the SEC, and probably the entire country. It’s fine. We know we are the superior school; we know everyone else is flailing about in …

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